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Smashing Procrastination into Smitereens

There’s a subtle irony going on right here, right now.

I’ll tell you about it in a little while (… it has to wait because otherwise this little ditty won’t get written).

Over the past 37 years of my life I reckon I’ve spent 36 of them procrastinating. I kid you not, it is the Bane to my Batman.

It’s a fu#king killer.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably wasted more opportunities than you can count on your abacus all thanks to procrastination.

I once got offered a fight in Cambodia, no joke, procrastinated a couple of days and bye-bye it was gone.

Now there’s only TWO thing I’ve ever found that work and stop the evil-P dead in it’s tracks and I’m about to share them with you.

You ready for this?

  1. Recognise that you’re procrastinating
  2. Quit being the perfectionist and get started
  3. Recognise that you’re procrastinating (again)
  4. Quit trying to be a perfectionist (again)
  5. Have a to-do list

Some of y’all might read that list and wonder why I’ve repeated myself twice and why number 5 isn’t number 1.

There’s a reason numb nuts.

Having a to-do list is a fu#king given and really that’s more about just moving forward in general.

When you sit your arse down at the computer you should know exactly what a) your goal is and b) what the next step towards reaching that goal is.

Then you start to work on b).

Bingo-bango — it’s not rocket-science this.

Let’s get back to the serious-shitola.


Credit, where credit is due. I only discovered Number 1 and 3 after listening to a 33 Voices podcast with Tony Stubblebine and Moe Whats-His-Face the host.

First I gotta talk a little about meditation. This is important.

Meditation is to the brain, what a push-up is to the body. You (try to) meditate, focus on your breathing and end up thinking about the last episode of Breaking Bad.

“What if Walter White actually … “

You recognise your mind is drifting, bring it back and start to focus on your breathing again.

That’s the mental push-up.

With time you get better and better, and better.

The same is true of focus, concentration and trying not to check your emails and Facebook account everytime you’re supposed to be working.

You recognise the error of your ways and bring you mind back to what you should be doing.

That’s exactly what you do to curb procrastination.

The first step is to recognise you are procrastinating.

Then you need to ask yourself “Why?” and usually it’s because the task is too boring, too hard… whatever… it is you need to man-the-fu#k up and deal with it.

If you recognise you are procrastinating, you can stop yourself.

If you can’t, then you let it take over and 2 hours later you realise you’ve done nothing other than fu#k about on the internet, thought about porn, maybe had a wank and drank a couple of cups of coffee.

Oh yeah, and your life is on course to stay the exact same.

Now the second part.

You just got to quit being the perfectionist, you’ve got to give yourself permission to suck and remember — no matter what you’re about to do — you can always go back and make it better, later.

All you got to do is get started, it doesn’t really matter what you do.

All that matters is you get started. If you’re an artist draw a stick-man, if you’re a copywriter put “Headlines Goes Here” or add capital letters to the beginning of sentences and periods (full-stops) to the ends.

Just get something, anything, onto paper.

Which brings me back to my “subtle little irony”.

I was literally looking for things to distract myself before writing this article.

I had YouTube up and was ready to check out some sick boxing. I was ready to open my emails, have a look, check my analytics…

You get the idea, then I realized I was procrastinating [procrastination event #1]

I asked myself “Why?” and couldn’t come up with a good answer. I guess doing something else was going to be easier than writing this. Who knows.

I wrote the headline then started writing the article.

Wrote the first paragraph.

Hated it.

Deleted it.

Wrote a new paragraph.

Hated it.

Was about to deleted it…

Then realized I was procrastinating again [procrastination event #2]

Reminded myself not to be a perfectionist, I gave myself permission to write a sh#t blog post and told myself that all that matters is getting something done.

And now you have it.

867 words at 23:47 on a Saturday night.

867 words that last week wouldn’t have happened.

867 words that will bring me one step closer to achieving a goal, my goal.

So let me remind you of that simple formula again:

  1. Recognize you’re procrastinating.
  2. Quit trying to be perfect.

And remember — you might need to do this multiple times in a single session — keep your mind sharp because if you’re not careful, procrastination will creep up on you like a heroin addict on a rock-star.

Your procrastination problems solved.

P.S. It’s now 00:09 because having read the article I went back and edited it; see you can always go back and make whatever it is you’re working on … better.

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